Pastor kills man to collect on life insurance. I’m sad that I’m not surprised.

Today, as I was browsing my Facebook inbox I received a link from my friend that I found particularly disturbing, but sadly not surprising. According to Newser.com, a pastor in Baltimore, MD had a man killed in order to collect on the man’s various life insurance policies. Did I mention the victim was disabled and mentally challenged? Here’s the story:

(Newser) – Baltimore police say a pastor has admitted to killing a mentally disabled and blind man to collect on his life insurance money, theBaltimore Sun reports. Charged yesterday, Kevin Pushia, 32, confessed to hiring a hit man with $50,000 in church funds to kill Lemuel Wallace—one of several mentally challenged people who have listed Pushia as an insurance beneficiary.

Police found Wallace dead in a park bathroom. Following a tip, they searched Pushia’s townhouse and saw a note on a calendar: “L.W. project completed.” They also uncovered six insurance policies in Wallace’s name worth $1 million. Police are seeking other possible victims in Pushia’s alleged scheme. “We’re all kind of in shock,” said a former co-worker.

Let me just say that as of late, my faith in humanity is slowly dwindling to nothingness. This is a perfect example of how the people everyone looks to for spiritual guindance, are in need of some themselves. To be honest, makes me wonder about the foundations of all religions themselves.

If we look to man to be our intermediary with God, as in we go to church and listen to someone who says they are speaking “God’s word”, we seek advice from these people when it comes to our spiritual progression, who’s to say they are right? Human fallibility is understood, but for those whose convictions are not as strong as others and require help and leadership, can they really rely on pastors and priests who commit heinous acts like these? Shit like this is indicative of the times we live in. Comment in with thoughts…

Great Not-For-Profits: NotFashionable.com

 

Photo Source: briergate.blogspot.com

Hey guys, every now and then I like to give a shout out to a cool NFP. And this one is the coolest of the cool. The fact that I graduated high school with Ryan Alexander, the guy who created it, has nothing to do with that assesment haha.

The NFP is called NotFashionable.com, and it’s addressing child starvation around the world. Here is their message, straigh from their site:

“The UN estimates that between 26,500 and 30,000 children die of hunger and preventable dieases everyday. Hunger. Not war, not natural disaster. Hunger. Totally treatable, clearly curable and absolutely preventable. When the UN says that up to 30,000 children die of hunger everyday, they are only talking about kids five and younger. But we let it happen. They don’t get a mention in the obituaries or make headline news. They die silent, painful, lonely deaths. They die off camera and in the poorest places on earth.

We can change this. You can bring change. We don’t have to let this sort of thing happen. The point is not to guilt people into pinching a couple pennies so that we can let ourselves off the hook. The point is to restore humanity to these children. To let them die like this, night after night, is saying something about the way we view life and people. We aren’t talking about making everyone rich or inventing a new concept. We are talking about equality and compassion. We wouldn’t let our own brothers and sisters starve to death if it was within our power to save them. Know that it is.

And they say that apathy never killed anyone.

So think. Think about how blessed you are. Don’t forget that justice and mercy are at the very center of why you are the way you are. Remember that anytime you have a conversation about these kinds of things that you are actively making someone aware of something that they cannot ignore. Always remember that you are fighting for the people who aren’t going to make you famous or rich, but people whose hope you are restoring. 

God is on the move.”

You can help them by buying one of their extremely cool and poignant t-shirts…for a small $15 donation. Check out his site and make a difference! 

My Quarter Life Crisis.

Everyone at some point in their lives people invariably choose what they want to be. Most of the time, it’s an astronaut, or a doctor, or Superman. I, for example always wanted to be a business man. I liked what it exuded. Power, wealth, the fact that in business, the world is your oyster, there is no place to go but the top. Nice penthouse apartment, Aston Martin convertible, top floor corner office. But see, now, I am not so sure thats where I want to go. 

All those things sound great. But in the end, they come at a price. I see all these business men and I see the sacrifices they make for success. I see how easy it is to get lost in it, and suddenly lose focus on things that are truly important. These guys, they live life with this notion that in order to achieve invincibility, you have to have a stacked bank account. The never ending chirp of the Blackberry, the distant, angry children, and the 3rd marriage usually ensue. Trust me I know…I am the product of such a predicament. I am not saying all businessmen are like that. Some do achieve that perfect balance between life and work. But I think I am over that.

I feel that recent events that have occured (i.e. my CNN experience, the fact that I made this blog, and the fact that it’s doing very well) is God screaming at me that I am meant for something else. I have come to realize that success is not scheduled by the amount of money you make. In the end success is measured by the type of person you are, the family you have, and your love for God. I can think of tons of people that are successful, but aren’t rich. In the end, you shouldn’t do something because it’ll make you money. You should do it because you love it, and because God wants you to do it. Peace Out, thanks for listening. 

Believe It or Not, The Christian Stereotype Is Not True.

The Christian stereotype is one that has been around for a while, and one that I have noticed since I became one in the 6th grade. I think we all know the stereotype. Crazed, fanatical, judgmental, out of touch with society? I am sure we dress like pilgrims is somewhere in there too. We all live on compounds, running around calling people heathens, and banishing you to hell for not listening to us. And yes there are some people out there who are exactly like that, but I assure you, it is not the majority. Now my next statement might sound “out-there” to you but I hope you keep reading. The main reason that one would think we are a bunch of crazies is…get ready…the media. Now wait…I am not going to go on a tirade about the evils of the media and the world at large. Frankly, it’s not even the media’s fault. When you flip on to the news what do you see? All the crazed cults who are being raided by the FBI for child molestation or are amassing enough automatic weapons to invade most of South America. You don’t really hear about local churches achieving great success in community outreach programs, making their local area much better. You don’t hear about how they have changed people’s lives, helping single mom’s make ends meet, starting programs to reach out to the homeless, or have started successful alcohol and drug rehabilitation programs. Churches, true churches that reside in communities and neighborhoods are a valuable asset to their respective local areas. 

The people in these churches aren’t really crazy either. They don’t run around shouting judgments at you, they won’t shove their faith down your throat. Remember, Christianity is all about FAITH. When I meet someone and I tell them I am a Christian sometimes they seem to want to try to convince me that I am either insane or wrong. I am neither, I just have faith in that what I believe is true. Just like you have faith that what you believe, be it evolution or Buddhism, or that slightly cool Star Wars religion is right, so do I.  Anyway, it’s nice I got that out of the way but I digress. Yeah we aren’t all crazy. I for instance, don’t dress like the characters in “The Village”, I shop at a lot of stores. I am not out of touch with society, I watch the news, I enjoy R rated movies (I am a pretty big Superbad fan actually…), I have an iPhone and even a Macbook Air. I listen to all kinds of music, even if it has the parental advisory. I don’t run around forcing my beliefs on you, and if you want to hear them that’s cool just let me know. But I assure you what you see on TV or in that moronic movie Saved (which in no way impacted my crush on Mandy Moore) is not the case. 

I was watching CNN today, and Rick Sanchez was interviewing Tony Alamo, who is being accused of child molestation and child pornography, among other things. Basically the entire time he went on about the evils of society, citing ludicrous examples and Bible verses taken completely out of context rambling on about all the “faggots” in the world, and how the “government is the anti-christ”, and basically telling Rick Sanchez he is going to hell. He kept his cool thankfully, but I almost wanted to call in and start refuting everything that man said and making a primary point that he does NOT represent us. It’s people, lunatics, like Tony Alamo, who take what we believe and spin it into a radical, tainted message for their benefit. They use The Bible to justify terrible acts, and to judge and push people away. This situation was the reason I decided to post this. I just don’t want true Christians, good, kind people to be unfairly grouped in to organizations like these.

Anyway, feel free to voice your opinion on this. Agree or Disagree? If you have a valid, calm, thought and present it like an adult I will be glad to hear you out and reply. I keep a very open mind so I value your feedback. If you are going to be a moron who wants to yell, scream and be ignorant, don’t even bother cause I moderate comments. Peace Out and thanks for listening. 

Hmmm…

When people read the Bible, they always notice how God literally speaks to His people. And even though today that doesn’t happen today I think God speaks to us in very different ways. Sometimes it’s so obvious that if we don’t listen it’s cause we don’t want to. And sometimes it’s subtle, something that we’ll hear a little later…when we are ready. I totally saw that happen this weekend. Just a thought I wanted to share…

Mountains to climb…

I think everyone at one point has mountains they need to climb. God puts these in our way not to make things difficult for us, but to test our faith in Him and most importantly to test our faith that with Him we can accomplish anything we want. But sometimes those mountains seem daunting. We look at our situations, whether it be something we are afraid of, something we need to do, or someone we want to be with, it can all seem a little intimidating. 

Speaking about me personally, when I see something that intimidates me, I tend to just play it safe or try to put it off and avoid it. And as I learned about last week, God doesn’t want me to play it safe. How am I going to accomplish what God set out for me if all I do is play it safe. So in my efforts to correct some of those things, I joined a Gracie Jiu Jitsu school. At first I was a bit weary, I am not always the most committed, disciplined guy. But I have realized two things: First, I have realized how terribly out of shape I am, and secondly, I have realized that I can be a disciplined and committed person, but I just have to find the right thing and stick to it no matter what. And I am positive I found the right thing. I want my commitment and discipline to permeate through to other aspects of my life. My faith, my school, my family. But in order to get here, to get where I needed to be, I needed to climb some mountains.

My Crazy Day…

So I woke up around 8 AM yesterday to find someone broke into my car. Bastards. Is nothing scared anymore? Is this what the world has come to?! Anyway sorry. Luckily for me they were by far the most reta…umm cognitively disabled criminals on the planet. They went through the effort of hacking my keyless entry, going in to my car and literally stealing nothing. They left my three pairs of sunglasses (what I like sunglasses, shut up) and the only thing they took was my blank Audi Warranty Feedback Card. Great score guys, very Ocean’s Eleven. They also took some stuff from my Grandfather’s car that I had been begging him to get rid of for a while now. Again, thank you for helping me out guys!

 

Also, while I was outside the previous night (before Danny Ocean and the rest of the crew showed up) I found these little guys…

I found them inside one of those decorative ceramics jugs…idk what they are called. But anyway, I had to run to PetsMart to get some kitten formula and a bottle. Yep that’s right, I’ve had to bottle feed both these little guys every 3 hours. One of them, FemaleCat, is pretty springy and energetic. Drinks a lot of milk. While the other one, MaleCat, is a bit weak, and he sleeps a lot (he looks dead sometimes actually, we’ve had a couple of scares) and is a bit resilient to the whole feeding thing. I unfortunately cannot keep them. And my friend, who I am sure would keep them is away on a trip. So I am dropping both of the candidates off at the Adopt-A-Friend Shelter in Broward, it’s on Griffin Road, one mile west of I-95. I called the Humane Society of Greater Miami, but they told me they would probably put them to sleep. After I yelled at the woman for a good 10 minutes about how she would feel if they put her to sleep, I hung up the phone and called the Broward Humane Society, who said they don’t euthanize. If I can find them a home before then that would be great too. I didn’t already have a zoo in my home I would keep them, but I think this is the best option I have so far.

So besides all that, and being sick, I am slowly getting ready to change my life up a bit. I am totally changing the way I eat. I am eating better, more often, and with a wise, rational mind. No more sweets, sodas, beer, coffee. No more a lot of things actually. I have booked my very last round of golf (it’s an expensive game to play). Instead I am going to join both my friends at Gracie Jiu Jitsu Miami, learning Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. It’s a bit more rough, but it looks cool, it’s perfect exercise, and I get to experience it all with my two friends who live and die by this stuff. My mom thinks it’s good, I need to learn about discipline and commitment…whatever those are. Last Saturday, God really wanted me to go and listen to Pastor Troy (the actual Pastor, as I learned there is also a rapper by the same name) talk about how men are the warriors. We are confident and proud. But these days we play it so safe and close to the chest. We are like caged Cheetahs. Definitely lit the fire within..

Also this is my hundredth blog! I am pretty impressed that I have stuck to this and stayed dedicated to it for so long. I have a ton of them already written, they should be popping up soon. Anyway, wish me luck tomorrow while I stop playing it safe…peace out!

The Large Hadron Collider Part I: Morally & Religiously Speaking…

Basically lets tackle this from a faith based perspective of the Large Hadron Collider. I am a christian so I am going to talk about this from my perspective, seeing as I am not going to go around speaking for other religions, that would be dumb.

It doesn’t say in The Bible that God will kill us all in a grandiose, getting sucked in to a black hole type of way. If there are Black Holes (and who knows at this point) they won’t be the downfall of mankind. I mean it’s pretty straight forward. This isn’t in the cards for us, period. Now what I do think is that in a way, this can be sort of considered a modern day Tower of Babel. In the story, human kind thought they could build a tower all the way to Heaven. Mankind, in it’s arrogance basically thought they could get to where God is without God’s help. God, being understandably upset, destroyed the tower and scattered the people all over the world, and having them speak in different tongues. In a way this is similar (the situation not God’s response). These scientists are basically trying to recreate particles from “The Big Bang” theory. This is where we walk the line between curious exploration and arrogance. Mankind has always worked to achieve something amazing. God has given us the gift of innovation and creativity. But these gifts tend to get to our heads when we start to think that we are either better than God and don’t need Him OR don’t think God exists hence believe we accomplished everything on our own.

Getting it all together…

When you have an idea of what to do, and you have the means, the focus, and the ability to do it, it feels great. School is staring up again. And applying my new, carpe diem like, philosophy I am pretty excited. I finally have I guess grown up, set goals, and decided to act upon it rather that sit and wait. This is a defining moment for me. The end of the old, the beginning of the new. And I have a great optimism about all this. I always get psyched before the new semester starts, but this time I am…super psyched? This semester is going to be long and rough. I got to conquer Math, which will finally fall. I will be swimming in pre-requisites and numbers. And instead of being wary in myself, I am going to give it 100% and put my faith in God.

Bring It On.

Bumps along the way…

So aside from being completely fooled the other day, my week has been rather…umm can’t think of a word right now. Something less severe than “turbulent” I think would fit. Lately I have been taking a proactive approach in regards to getting my life in order. I have finally settled on what I want to do and on what direction I wanted to go in various aspects of my life. My school (and ultimately my career), my health, my faith, all of these things I want to change. Well overdue in some cases yes, but better late than never. Accomplishing these goals requires some give and take with myself. Whether its giving up something I enjoy to make time for something I need, or eliminating something that I know isn’t wise to pursue. At the same time, it involves starting something I know is good for me and I know I should do, or basically start doing something awesome that I normally don’t do. This transition isn’t easy, and honestly without God’s help I wouldn’t be able to do it at all. I remember once, a pastor said that people can’t change all of a sudden, by themselves because they want to. They change cause God helps them do it. I know God is in my corner, but that’s not to say that there won’t be some bumps along the way. Those bumps are good, because they test you, and how you work through it is how you will work through everything like that forever. One in particular this week was a frustrating situation with a simple answer. I was just tired of talking about it, tired of dwelling on it, and I just basically surrendered it to God. I wasn’t going to solve anything with arguing against it anymore, or thinking about it. Sometimes the best way to navigate the bumps in the road is to drive around them and then go a bit faster, and that’s what I did. Trusting God with every facet of your life is like having shocks and a nice set of tires on your car, it smooths out the ride a bit. And he would be the engine…and road side assistance, bad analogy but well I hope you get what I am saying. Without God, those little trials and tribulations in life will tear you to shreds. So yeah till next time…peace out.

Envy shoots at others and wounds itself.

I went to church this week after not going for a couple of weeks. And it amazes me that when I go there, the message for that night just hits me dead on. This week, a visiting pastor (who was a pretty cool dude) spoke about envy. That’s why I went with The Hulk, you know…green with envy. He was talking about how the basis of most, if not all, crimes committed is envy. He went on define envy as when someone wishes they had the blessings of one person, without realizing their own. How it was sort of our own prison, we were trapped on the inside, looking out. I found myself totally relating to what he was saying. I think more with the green monster within when it comes to life’s decisions. An example of that is my decisions when it comes to school. For the longest time I wanted to do whatever I needed in order to make money. I put off choosing one major because the other major would make me more money. But the fact of the matter is that I shouldn’t be choosing things like that. I need to choose what I love and more importantly what God wants for me. Of course I want the success and the house with the cars and all that. And if that’s what God has planned for me then He’ll give it to me when He wants to. We live in a society that emphasises status and wealth. And boy, when I see an Audi R8 driving down the street, it sure fires up that green monster within. I have had this mentality up until recently that making money defines a man. But honestly, I’d rather live paycheck to paycheck and be happy and healthy with a good family than be rich and miserable, or even worse, alone. When one envies the blessings of others, one usually shrouds their own. I am not rich, but I am healthy. I don’t have a Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder (black with the black interior and the yellow stitching), but I have a good car that gets me where I need to go safely. I’m not famous, but I have a great family I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world, and the best friends a guy could ever ask for. So in reality, God has blessed me with so much more than money. And with that…I’m out.

Ch-Ch-Ch Changes.

Change is inevitable. What I grow accustomed to, and comfortable with will eventually change. Sometimes, I wish that things would stay one way forever. Be it because I am happy with it, and I don’t want anything else, or because I am afraid of how the change will affect me. I think everyone has an inherently selfish view when it comes to change in their life. We all have our comfort zones, and we all want those comfort zones to stay the same forever. Whether that comfort zone is place like your room, or if that comfort zone is a relative or a place, it will eventually change. We don’t want it to of course, cause then we wouldn’t feel comfortable anymore. Your room can change tomorrow, you can move to another one. Or you can lose it in a flash flood or a tornado. That someone you find comfort in won’t be around forever either. I think that the only thing we can take comfort in is God. We can take comfort in the fact that God doesn’t change. He’ll be there no matter what. And the best thing about God to take comfort in is when He does change something in your life, it’s because it’s good for you, even if you don’t see it that way at the time. Peace Out.

State of the Jorge Address

When we drift away from God, it’s not like we just rip free and drift off forever. We just have a lot of things that come in between. I can attest to that. I think that I let a lot of things get in between. All those things run through my head, and make so much noise that they drown out what’s important. It’s like trying to hear someone whispering to you during a Hockey game. You can hear over everything going on (especially if you have an obnoxious Devils fan next to you). The only thing left to do was to take stock of everything and just eliminate that which was coming in between God and I. My Bible teacher always used to say that in order to listen, you have to be silent. Well, actually my mother says that too but she means it in more of a “shut up and listen” way. As soon as I did that, as soon as I realized that I am not in charge and I needed to have more faith in God and less in me, then well, everything came together. It’s all good. Anyway, I’m out…super tired and I got work tomorrow. Peace!

Mind Venting Part II…

It’s boring at work today. I hate when you finish all your work like two hours before you have to leave. You don’t want to start anything too time consuming that it will take you more than two hours. Yeah, thats what is going on right now.

I have all three Pirates of the Caribean movies at home on Blu Ray. I have Netflix (and by Netflix I mean Blockbuster @ Home) so I can return them whenever I want. But the thing is, I have had them for like, maybe a month now and I just don’t feel like watching any of them. Everyone is saying “Oh Jorge, Pirates of the Caribean rocks! You’ll love it! Keira Knightly is hot!” Yeah she is hot. But I don’t know I really don’t feel like investing myself in a Pirate movie. I really should return them soon, there are other movies on my list I want to see. Decisions, decisions…

Gas prices are going up and the economy is being lousy. So I decided I am going to enact my own personal plan to help out the economy. First, I am going to get a Hybrid car after the lease on my car is up. Sure, some people argue it will take you forever to recoup the worth, but you save a little bit on gas, and I will not only be helping the enviroment, but I will also be helping reduce our dependance on foreign oil. I am also going to lose weight, so I won’t be a burden to the healthcare system. I am going to tithe 10%. Not only does it help out the church, but the church will use it to support the community, and in essence, stimulate the economy. Also, I will probably buy the 3G iPhone…to you know…stimulate the economy, and stuff. This is part of my new Jorge 2.0 revolution…or as Ron Paul calls it, revolution (get it? it’s love backwards. Ron Paul is a lunatic).

Anyway, thats all for now.

Oldie But Goldie: Lessons Learned…

I found this posted on my MySpace. I had just ended a very brief yet horrible relationship, and this is basically a summary of all the lessons I have learned in the brief time since I turned 21. Stuff I learned from personal experience, and some that I learned through the eyes of others.When I wrote it, I was listening to “Easy Tiger” by Ryan Adams. That album is just as awesome then as it is now. Enjoy…

The best way to learn is through experience. And it’s those experiences that in the end make us better, whether the out come was good or bad. In the short couple of months since I turned 21, I have learned a lot of things. Some times I learned the easy way, and sometimes, the very, very hard way. I knew I would eventually learn these things, it never dawned upon me that I would learn them so soon, but God likes to teach us things on His own time, not on mine. And at the very least I find it comforting, because if it were up to me to learn everything on my own time table, I never would. Sometimes you learn through your own experiences, and sometimes it’s through the eyes of another. But you still learn it. And in the end, regardless of outcome, you are grateful for the lesson.

 

• Decisions are hard. No matter what you are trying to decide between they can get difficult. You’ll make some good ones and you’ll make some bad ones. But when you make the bad ones, take responsibility for it and try to never do it again. Dwell on it for the purpose of reminding yourself that you should probably never do that again and move on.
• If a person likes you, they won’t try to change you. And if all the little things become big issues, move on. Cause that means that person can’t see past the little things (for one reason or another) and as a result, won’t be able to see the bigger picture. 
• Don’t be a push over. Stand your ground. If the other person can’t see logic and reason when it comes to something simple, then they are never going to see it. Life is too damn short to be dealing with drama and insecurities. Finding someone who jives with you is hit or miss. And chances are you’ll miss a lot before you hit, so be patient.
• Let people talk crap. Caring about what they say is giving them too much attention. Just be happy when you know good people who know who you really are and how full of it they are. When people talk trash, they end up looking a lot worse than what they are saying about you. If they really knew who you were, then they’d know that what you say isn’t true.  
• Don’t doubt yourself and don’t worry about the future. Success won’t come if you are too busy worrying about where you are going to end up. It’ll come when you trust God with the things you can and can’t control and apply all the energy you use worrying about the future to doing things in the present. Success is in the eye of the beholder. And sometimes it isn’t measured by how much money you may have or how powerful you are.  
• Just as you shouldn’t let people change you, you can’t change other people. No matter how close that person is to you if they are set on decision, nothing will change how they feel. You can lead the horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. Even if you feel a little betrayed because you expected more of them, in the end, if they aren’t willing to fix their mistake, they don’t see it as one. Then what that means is the lesson you are trying to teach them will have to be learned the hard way.
• Something is one thousand times better when you are waiting to have it. Then, once you have it in your hands, you run the risk of something terrible happening. Realizing that it’s not all you thought it was going to be, and what you left behind is actually better. So next time you get all crazy on the hype, take a few steps back, breathe, and analyze the situation. You may be surprised as to what you may find out.
• My friend always says “Surround yourself with good people. Because when you do, good things tend to happen to you.” This statement is completely true and totally speaks for itself.

So, yeah, pretty much the major points of the last 2 months are right here. Can’t wait to see what else is in store.

 

 

 

Mind Venting…

So here are the random thoughts, ideas, and emotions running through my head. 

I think Hillary needs to come to the fact that she lost. Right now she is just making herself look bad by not conceding defeat. I think it’s great that Barack Obama got the nomination. I think it’s a HUGE step in the right direction for this country and for the way we are perceived around the world. Hillary needs to realize what’s best for the country and not draw this out any further and maybe he’ll be less annoyed and consider her for VP.

In a couple of hours it’s going to be 5 days till the 3G iPhone comes out. On the outside, I am calm and collected. On the inside, I can barely contain myself. This is going to be a great product. I admire Steve Jobs. The guy is a business and marketing genius. Apple loves to ride the wave of massive hype all the way to a single moment. And what sets Apple apart from Microsoft, from Dell, from HP, is at the end of it all, whatever they release surpasses the hype that they create. It becomes such a revolutionary product, that it forces the industry to evolve.

My biggest fear in life is not being able to hear God. But I think sometimes, it’s not that God has stopped talking, it’s that I have stopped listening. I have tackled this issue here before, but I think it’s definitely more about being silent. Sometimes, we fill our lives with some many things, we take on so many decisions on our own, thinking we’ll be ok, then one day, when we do need God, we can’t hear Him over all the noise. Trusting God with every facet of your life is SO important. Making a little time to be silent today, will make things clearer for you tomorrow. That being said, trusting God with everything also includes your finances. Since I started working again, I have decided that it’s time my tithe reflected it. So come payday, I will be getting my tithe on.

I think I am over MySpace. I keep it, just basically to say I have it. I don’t get comments on it, I don’t feel like changing the way it looks, and I like to swap the song out once a month. Everyone I know is on Facebook. I like it better actually, it’s more mature. I can see myself being on Facebook forever, I might delete my MySpace after I am 35 or something.

Thats about it…PO!

Protected: Silencing the chatter…

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Monday, Monday….

Today was my first day back at work. I have adjusted to a normal sleep cycle and now I think my body is actually thanking me for finding something to do. Like my mom says “Playing golf three times a week is no way to spend your summer!” As she is frequently right I decided to listen. So now I am being greatly productive, getting paid, and now life is going great. God’s really watchin’ my back lately. Anyway I am tired times one thousand…so I am out. Peace!

I am not in control…

I am a firm believer that when something doesn’t turn out the way you want it to it’s for a reason. Whether its a missed opportunity or a failed relationship or whatever, God has a specific reason that is above our understanding that justifies that particular situation unfolding the way it did. Sure, the reason why may shown to us later or not at all. Whether it’s missing out on a job opportunity because God has a better one in store for you, or ending a relationship because God is sending you the person you are going to marry. But sometimes, just reminding yourself that God has a plan and things happen for a reason doesn’t necessarily put a lid on the jar.

A problem I struggle with, and I am sure some people struggle with is that sometimes I dwell on a decision I made in the past, and I wish I had done it differently. I’ll sit there and dwell and say to myself “Well if I would have done THIS, then I would be here.” But the fact of the matter is that THIS turned out the way I wanted it to. THIS didn’t happen for whatever reason but in the end it’s not up to me, and if God wanted the THIS to happen, it would have happened. It’s like the left and the right side of my brain fight each other.

The logical part of my brain says…

“Jorge, I know you wanted things to work out your way. But God wanted them to work out His own way for a reason. He knows the reason, and maybe soon you’ll know it too. Pray and God will help you. “

But the emotional, stubborn part of my brain says…

“Jorge, you totally messed up, you did this, and that was so not cool cause you should have done this. And now, well your screwed, and you are going to be miserable now. You missed out. Go listen to your City and Colour CD and think about what you’ve done.”

Realistically, what I have done is what God already knew what I was going to do. My brain blocks that idea out of my head. I am the type of guy that likes to know that I am in control of whatever I do. I think Pastor Troy said it best when he said that we like to pick and choose what we trust God for. Not knowing what’s going to happen scares me. But knowing the what God does He does knowing it is for my benefit and that it will make me the person He needs me to be. And that is a great thing.

One Step Back.

I decided to fix things in my life. Get back on track, do what I have been promising myself I would do. It’s nothing dramatic, nothing major. I have noticed that for a while, that I have been basically living my own life. Doing what I want to do, when I want to, thinking that I am the one in control. 

News Flash. I’m not.

Living life with God in the backseat is, without a doubt, a harrowing experience. The scary part is when the voice you hear gets quiet. It happens over time too. Slowly, it gets quieter, and quieter until one day…silence. It so scary knowing that God and I are so far apart. And I know it too. I feel like my prayers are bouncing off the ceiling, falling right back on me. Everything I do, I say, is not what it should be. The great thing though is, that no matter how many steps you take away from God, it only takes one step to go back. So I am taking that one step back.